I'm Moving On
by Thief of Black Winged Hearts
Summary: songfic for Rascal Flatts "I'm Moving On" Rukia regrets having to leave Ichigo, but if she doesn't, he might end up dead. Set during the first ark, where Rukia leaves for the Soul Society. ichiruki


Hi, people! Here I am, updating into the world of Bleach. For those of you who are reading Of Cats and Titans, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been kinda stuck on that story, so if anyone has any suggestions for the next chapter, let me know! :)

I wrote this Rascal Flatts "I'm Moving On" songfic because I heard this song, and it screamed ichiruki to me for some strange reason. It's set in the first story ark at the scene where Rukia has to leave Ichigo. I really hope I did a good job in it!

The third season of Bleach is coming out on the 14th, and if you buy it at , the one with the limited edition Ichigo hollow mask is cheaper! I can't wait! Plus, the sixth Harry Potter movie is coming out in theaters this weekend! Yay!

To anyone who got notified about this story twice, it's because there was a file mix-up when I first posted this. My apologies!

I gotta go, so meow for now!

Disclaimer

Look, if I owned Bleach, the manga and anima series would come out in the U.S. sooner. But I don't own it, so it's not my decision to make.

I'm Moving On

Rukia sat on the corner of a certain someone's bed, in a certain someone's room, holding a picture that someone else had taken. She had been like this for the past half an hour. Deliberating. Deciding. Choosing between what she desperately wanted and what she knew was right. Something about today had showed her what she had desperately tried not to see. She didn't belong here. She couldn't belong in this world. How long could she go on pretending? How long could she go on deceiving her friends? How long could she lie? She sighed, dropping the picture, letting it slide to the ground. It was a picture someone had taken the day she had snuck up behind Ichigo and jumped on his back. She was holding on for dear life with one hand, while giving Ichigo bunny ears with the other. He had his mouth wide open in surprise, looking at Rukia with a "What the hell" look. Looking, somehow, warmer than he usually did. Like a cloud had begun to lift from his heart. A single glistening tear dotted the corner. She lifted her head and gazed at his room. The room that had become like a second home to her.

_I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons_

The very first time she saw Ichigo-well, the first time she _really _saw him was in this room. The weird human who could see shinigami. He had been intriguing, at first, until the circumstance with the hollow had forced Rukia to give him her Soul Reaper powers. From that moment, she knew she had cursed this human. From now on, his fate would twist away from the happy, safe life he could have led, twisting down a dark road that would probably lead to his death. And when he died, Rukia would have no one but herself to blame.

_Finally content with a past I regret_

Seeing his pain had somehow made her own easier to bear, like he had taken some of her pain to carry along with his. After all, both had seen death before. Both of them had lost a loved one. It seemed only natural that they would connect, at the very least on a sub-conscious level. Eventually, just his very presence eased her pain, pain that she had bourn since she was a child. The pain of losing her friends. The pain of living as an orphan. And, above all, the eternally burning pain of Kaien's death.

_I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness_

She watched Ichigo grow, getting stronger and stronger, going from one triumph to the next. She had never before felt so proud of a person, so pleased at their success. He had grown, in more ways than one.

_For once I'm at peace with myself_

Over time, in the long days spent with Ichigo acting like a regular teenager, the pain of Kaien's death began to slowly ebb away, until the day came where she felt as if she was strong enough to carry the pain for the rest of her life. She would always feel immensely guilty over Kaien's death, and would never stop blaming herself, but it was as if her bond with him had been cut. Instead, a new bond had formed in its place. A bond with Ichigo.

_I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long_

_I'm moving on_

But, by staying here, all she was doing was putting him and everyone else in unnecessary danger. It would only be a matter of time before the higher ups from the Soul Society came looking for her. She would be taken into custody, and anyone who got in there way would be killed. Knowing Ichigo, he wouldn't be able to stand by and do nothing. She couldn't send him to die, even if it meant forfeiting her own life. After all, Ichigo had never hurt anyone. Ichigo hadn't stuck a sword through the person he loved the most. Why should he get hurt saving _her? _She had to leave now, before they found her in this house. Before she put him and his family in danger more than she already had. She had to run.

_I've lived in this place and I know all the faces_

_Each one is different, but there always the same_

_They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it_

_They'll never allow me to change_

As her eyes scanned the familiar room, memorizing every detail, faces began to flash through her mind. The faces of Tatsuki, Orihime, Chad, and Uruu. The faces of the people who talked to her at school and might actually care that she had left. If they were able to remember her at all. The Soul Society didn't leave loose ends like that. Their memories would be erased or altered, and it would be like she had never existed. Maybe it was better that was. You can't miss someone you never knew, after all. But he would remember. How would he deal with it, waking up one morning to find her gone and forgotten? She wished that she could erase his memory, too, so that this couldn't hurt him like she knew it would. But she can't. All she could do was hope that maybe one day he might be able to forgive her. That's all she asked for.

_But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong _

_I'm moving on_

She had no home now. The fact hit her like a bowling ball. She didn't have a home anymore. Since the day that Kaien died, the Soul Society became a more and more painful place, until she almost couldn't stand to be there. Ichigo's house had been her home for a while now. But now, she had no home. Just like in the beginning.

_I'm moving on_

_At last I can see that life has been patiently waiting for me_

_And I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone_

She walked over to Ichigo's desk. Sitting in the chair, she wrote him a note, explaining that she had to leave and that he was to keep his head down for a while. She sealed it in an envelope, praying that he would understand. Whatever it took, he must not be found. Tears came to her eyes, but she fought against them. She must not cry. She had been trained to be stronger than that. Jerkily, she rose to her feet and rushed to the closet. She had been delaying this for too long. Closing her eyes, refusing to see the truth. Today had opened her eyes. She couldn't be human because she _wasn't_ a human. There was no point in trying to deny it any longer. Even though it broke her heart, she could not stay.

_There comes a time in everyone's life_

_When all you can see are the years passing by_

_And I have made up my mind that those days are gone_

It's funny how things like that had never really hit her until they were staring her in the face. But now they were, and she had to move fast, before she somehow changed her mind. They were probably coming for her this very moment, and in this gigai she wouldn't be able to sense them. Time was short. For everyone's sake, she could not afford second thoughts.

_I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't_

_Stopped to fill up on my way out of town_

She filled her Chappy backpack with her few possessions, closing the top with a sharp yank of the strings. Drawing the bag over her shoulder, she walked over to the window. She perched in the sill, pausing to take one last look at the room that had been her home for the past few months. The sight tugged at her heart like nothing else had. Shaking, she jumped from the sill onto the street, and started to run as fast as she could towards the train station that ran through town.

_I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't_

This was the final proof. She had always been told that the ones closest to the heart always did the most damage. Now, as her heart ripped itself to pieces, she could finally believe it.

_I had to lose everything to find out_

But now it's too late. It's all gone, and there was no one to blame but herself. She would never see Ichigo's face again. And even if she did? He would be a grown man, with a wife and kid and a career. Seeing him, having moved on long ago, might hurt her more than never seeing her again. So, as her final goodbye, she pictured his face in her mind. His orange hair, his sarcastic smile, and his warm, golden eyes. In her mind, she reached out a finger and touched his face, caressing it softly. In her mind, she told him that she loved him.

_Maybe forgiveness will find me some where down this road_

But he would never hear those words, would never hear the reasons for leaving and hurting him again. Maybe someday he could forgive her for vanishing with out a trace. For not saying goodbye. But if he didn't, then she couldn't blame him. She could only blame herself.

_I'm moving on _

The crescent moon hung low in the sky as the sound of racing feet echoed in the night. Sometimes, words unspoken are the ones that hurt the most. Sometimes, a heart breaks without a single sound.

_I'm moving on_

He would be very hurt, of that she was sure. It was in his nature to linger over such things. But it broke her heart simply because it was breaking his as well. He would never know how much she cared about him. And that was the price she had to pay.

_I'm moving on_

In the night, as the cold, silent moon watched above, broken dreams and silent tears faded away into the shadows.

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…darn. I can't think of anything witty to say. Oh well, review the stupid person! :)


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